That whole “i before e except after c” thing just came in handy.

Anyway, I have a confession to make to all of you. There is something I am terrible at. I know, I know, you thought I was awesome at everything. I am not. I am terrible about asking people for help. And that is bad, because I often need a lot of help. But I am bad at asking for it. I am good at giving people help. I am truly one of those people who will help you out with anything within my power. But when the tables are turned, it’s another story. But I think I figured out why.

See I think that asking for help make you feel vulnerable and many people equate vulnerable with weak and I certainly don’t want to be seen as weak. I am no stranger to vulnerability…I mean I cry over everything. But only things that are worth it to me, you know? I don’t want to be seen as vulnerable over little  things like needing help packing or needing help with a paper I am writing. It’s small stuff. So I am stubborn and won’t ask for it. When I do, it is a big thing for me.

Let me tell you a funny story sort of relating to this. A bit over a year ago, I had some surgery. A day after I went home, I had some complications and had to go back to the ER. I was sitting there, in pain and feeling terrible, surrounded by other sick people, and just lain miserable. All of a sudden, I got this craving for some chicken soup (it’s a comfort thing). I wanted it and I needed it and I had to have it (much like crack). Now my husband can’t make chicken soup at all. So I was sitting there and I picked up the phone and called my friends Emily and Mike. They can cook and Emily makes awesome chicken soup. I asked them to help me  and make me some (which they delivered the next day). I hung up the phone and burst into tears. Kyle almost had a heart attack thinking I was in pain and about to die. and he asked what’s wrong. I blurted out, “I should be able to make my own soup!” and kept sobbing.

THIS IS HOW BAD IT IS! I can be in pain and sick and in the ER and still feel weak for asking people for some help with soup. It’s sad. Which is why I have decided that this must stop. I am not going to be so hesitant to ask for help. I have awesome people around me who would willingly help me if I asked (I hope), so I am not going to be afraid to ask anymore.

That’s it.

Oh wait, one more thing that has nothing to do with this. Jamison will like it though. Maybe Travis too.I have got my husband addicted to watching the West Wing. We have gone through most of the first season the last two days. I am very excited.