I love kids. They always make me smile, and they are fantastic, tiny people. Most of ‘em, anyway. I have spent a lot of time around kids my whole life, and I am never less than amazed by the things that come out of their mouths (and I don’t mean spit up). Here is my list of the top ten questions that have been asked of me by small children. They always make me smile.

10) “What does f!@# mean?” (Ummm, different things, at different times.)

9) “How do those stupid scientists know that dinosaurs were ugly colors like brown and green? I think they were pink!” (You are probably right.)

“Do you think that tiger would eat me if he could?” (Yes. I think he would.)

7) “Would you like to get married to me a buy a baby?” (No thanks. You really don’t know how this works, do you?)

6) “Would you sit by me a cuddle me, but not tell anybody about it, because I am a big boy?” (Absolutely.)

5) “Is that guy (Will Ferrell) retarded, or am I allowed to make fun of him?” (My response was…hysterical laughter.)

4) “Would you like to build a train with me and sail it to Mexico?” (Yes. Yes, I would love that. thanks.)

3) “Emily, how do I know if I pooped my pants, or just farted?” (….)

2) “What is your favorite kind of flower? You know, to eat?” (….do I need to call poison control?)

1) “If Jesus is the son of God, who did God have sex with?” (You should probably ask your Sunday school teacher.)

I miss little. If any of you have young children that would possibly ask ridiculous questions, can I borrow them for a bit? Please?