Being a human being is hard sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, I love being human and I would much rather be a human that, say, an armadillo. But along with out humanity, we get about a billions different thoughts and emotions and perspectives that can change every second. It’s hard to know how to think about some things, and then you throw being female and emotions into the mix and forget about it. I will never apologize for being a human or acting and feeling as a human does. But there are just some times when your heart and your mind and your hormones are all flooding you with things and it is hard to decide what to do.

Something that is troubling me right now is disagreement. How can you disagree with somebody (or something) you have a HUGE, tremendous amount of respect for? I don’t mean a little, inconsequential disagreement, like he loves Queen the best and I am a Stones gal. I am talking about somebody else having opinions and doing things that affect your life in a major way that you just do not agree with. It’s hard, because it’s not just a mental differing of opinions. You get feelings and hopes tied to these things, and before you know it, a simple matter of not agreeing with somebody ends up with you (or somebody you love) getting hurt. What started out simple suddenly becomes complicated.

I hope you can relate to this. I sometimes find myself being very self-centered. I want everything to work for me. And it’s these times that I have to remind myself that it is not all about me. That sometimes, people in charge need to do what is best for the most amount of people, even if it hurts a few. It is something I struggle with, and pray about everyday, and I feel that I have come so far in that respect. Therefore, sometime I hold my opinions and feelings in. I see that what is happening may be good for some people, even if it isn’t for me. So I keep it to myself and bottle it up and hope it passes. I will never be one to blow up or get furious or go nuts. That’s not how I am. But inside, I still disagree and it ends up tearing me up. Especially if the person I disagree with is somebody I love or respect or secretly hope to be like one day.

So how is it done? How do you disagree with somebody, and still get along with them or even grow closer to them? How do you walk up to somebody you admire and say, “Hey, I respect you, and I am not asking you to change your mind at all, but I want you to know I disagree with you, and here is why…”? I don’t know. It is something I am struggling with. It has been put on my heart a lot this week. I am glad for it though. Somehow, I get the feeling that this is something that will come up a lot in life, so the sooner I figure out how to handle it gracefully and Godly, the better off I will be.