08.20.08

Oh Judas…

Posted in Jesus, Judas, forgiveness at 5:16 pm by emilygrrrice

So here is something I have wondered about for along time, ever since I heard the story of the death of Jesus and heard mention of Judas, when I was just seven years old. Do you think there there is any chance Judas got to go to Heaven?

It may seem like a stupid question, because the guy betrayed Jesus, of course he didn’t go to Heaven! But then I think about my life, and the number of times I myself have betrayed Jesus, whether through thoughts or words or actions. And those are the times I really hope Judas got into Heaven.

It’s like this, Judas and Jesus were friends. Like, BFF. It’s even said that Judas was favored among all of the Apostles. However, in the end, Judas was weak and betrayed his friend…JESUS….for a little bit of money. It seems absolutely terrible and not worth it at all. But then I think back to high school when I betrayed my best friend over a boy, or something stupid like that. I mean, haven’t we all betrayed our friends at one point in our lives? Granted, we didn’t have any inkling or belief that our friends were actually the son of God, but still.

There is part of me that wants to feel bad for Judas. I like to picture him, after he saw what happened to Jesus in the end, as full of remorse and guilt. I like to hope that if we feel remorseful and try to make apologies for what we have done and repent, then we will be forgiven, not only by our victims, but by our God. If he repented and was actually full of remorse and guilt, do you think he would have gotten into Heaven?

Then there is another part of me that feels like he was set up to fail. Jesus is the Son of God. He is all knowing and all powerful. Don’t you think he knew what was gonna happen? Don’t you think he knew Judas would betray him? If he did, why did he let it happen? Actually, I know why he let it happen, he had to die to save us, but didn’t Judas get sort of a raw deal? Didn’t Jesus consider what that would do to a person, to come down from his “I got some cash!” high and realize what he had done to his best friend? I don’t know about Judas, but that would make me hate myself. We have all done stupid things out of jealousy, greed, insecurity, or whatever. But imagine if one of the dumb things you did lead your friend to the most horrible death imaginable. I would probably kill myself, too. Do you feel like maybe Judas should get some leniency because Jesus needed somebody to betry him, and bring about his death, which saved us all?

There are many, many versions of the death of Judas. At two different places in the Bible (Matthew, Acts of the Apostles) it mentions his death. In one, he was guilty and hung himself, and in another he sort of blew up in a field. According to a very early Christian leader, he got really really fat. In one of the Gnostic Gospels, the Gospel of Judas, he was stoned to death by the other Apostles. None of those seem like a wonderful death to me.

I just hope that, however he died, he felt remorse for his actions first. He tried to apologize maybe…he prayed and prayed for forgiveness. I just can’t help but kind of hope that he was forgiven and somehow got into Heaven. Because I know that, in my life, I have made many mistakes, and though none of them turned out that dire (or that great, for the rest of humanity), I want to be forgiven for them.

What do you think?

I should probably add in here that I am no Judas expert. I have done a bit of research and all, bit in all honesty, I haven’t read as much of the grown up, non-picture Bible as most of you. I am working on it!